OUCH!
It’s one thing for me to spend a year exploring how the word ENOUGH shows up in my life; it’s a different thing for me to share my opinion about too much or too little with others.
We are all a work in progress, right? With that perspective, there will always be something about me that is not quite the right amount.
If you’ve read my blog posts before, you are familiar with my natural tendency to be a judger. To be honest, most of us are judging all the time. The difference in our judging behavior is what we base our judgements on. For some, they take an objective view – hard facts, vetted information, precedents. For others, like me, there is zero objectivity in my judging. My judgement is based solely on whether I like it or not, whether I think it’s good or bad, right or wrong, in or out … you get it. My judging is almost always feeling based.
I’ve been acutely aware of this judging thing for years and have frequently asked forgiveness for a judgement that came flying out of my mouth uncontrolled.
At the age of almost 69, I can say that I have managed to put many filters, yield signs, speed limits, and even stop signs between my brain and my mouth. In other words, most of the time I catch the judgement before it leaks out into space.
I felt the need to provide context because what I am about to do is share some judgments I made while we were recently on vacation in Hawaii. My husband heard my opinions, but no one else did – thank goodness, although, I think that one of my opinions is grounded in science and perhaps could benefit some people.
Our room in the villa overlooked the adult pool. It’s the pool where small children or noisy children, regardless of age, are prohibited. Perhaps prohibited is too strong of a word; it’s more like the signs say QUIET POOL and so anyone that falls into the noisy category is discouraged from using this particular pool.
Because Hawaii is in a time zone that is 4 hours behind my home time zone, I was up to see the sunrise every day. It’s a lovely thing to take a book and a glass of water or juice (no, I am not a coffee drinker) and sit on the balcony to watch the world come to life. Kauai is known for its chickens – they are everywhere crowing their little hearts out. If it wasn’t the time zone difference waking me up, it surely would have been the chickens’ crowing. You know what happened each day before the first crowing was heard? People were heading to the pool to lay out their beach towels and claim their chairs – for the DAY!
The rules say a chair can only remain unoccupied for an hour, regardless of whether there is a towel on the chair or not. My first judgement is that it is a useless rule as it was never enforced.
Big deal, I am not one to hang out at the pool all day anyway, so I didn’t really care.
This is not about the chair time rule; it’s about the couple that spent nearly all day seven days in a row lying in a chair by the pool reading a book. Granted, I did not sit on the balcony and observe people all day, but every time I happened to look out or walk by, they were in their same chairs reading a book – and not even facing the ocean.
I don’t get it. My judgement is that these are people who spend too much time lying around reading a book and not enough time moving and taking in the amazing sights of paradise.
There – I’ve said it! Feel free to make a comment on this post defending the chairpeople.
That judgement is purely opinion based, but this next one really has some scientific basis I believe!
I wish I could post a picture of ‘lobster man’ but I would run the risk that someone actually knows who he is.
Sunscreen is a helpful item to use when in Hawaii; this is especially true for people who are naturally very pale or who have skin that appears to have not seen the sun in 25 years!
As someone who grew up on a lake in a time before sunscreen existed, I have had my share of sunburns. We teenage girls would find patches of green grass amidst the melting snow in the spring where we could lay down our blankets that looked like tinfoil and get a jump on our summer tan. To accelerate the tanning process, we would mix a concoction of baby oil and iodine and slather it all over ourselves.
We would only burn the first time out and then we would just deepen the tan.
My theory was that tan people looked thinner, taller, younger and healthier. Can you say that is a stupid, shallow, egotistical theory? Yes!
That all changed when at the age of 38 my first skin cancer spot was identified. I immediately became religious about sunscreen and hats and this thing called SHADE!
I may have lost count, but I believe I have had 16 skin cancer spots removed, leaving behind telltale white patches.
The dermatologist told me that the spots that were showing up at age 38, 45, 50, 60 were not recent, but they were the results of damaging the derma 30 to 40 years prior.
Not only is getting fried in the sun a bad thing for our skin, but it hurts like crazy! I have had sunburns so bad that it hurt to have clothes on; as a matter of fact, it hurt to put cooling aloe gel on it because it involved touching my skin.
So, when I saw this guy and his wife cooking in the sun every day and getting deeper and deeper shades of red, I judged and said TOO MUCH! I desperately wanted to say something, but of course, it’s none of my business. His color got so red that it almost looked purple. I can’t imagine how he survived putting clothes on for the long flight back to the mainland.
Were there others that were baking and cooking in the sun? Yes – there always are some who don’t realize how different the tropical sunshine is, but I have never seen the shade of red on a person like lobster man (and his wife).
I dare any of you to post a comment defending the choice of lobster man as a smart choice. This isn’t about the right to choose! I’m saying that this is a case where I feel the individual had not used ENOUGH common sense, or ENOUGH sunscreen, or ENOUGH time in the shade. I also know that it’s none of my business and that nothing I would say would make a difference, except to irritate someone. I have learned that having a thought in my head is often ENOUGH and sharing it with others is too much!
How about you? What are situations where you have a hard time keeping quiet? I’d love to know!
